As the surgeon spoke to me, I observed his hands, realizing my life would be in them. But of course the Spirit immediately corrected me—No, my life would be in God’s hands. Putting my life in even the best surgeon's hands would be chancy. In God’s hands there is no such risk. Isaiah says God is like a potter (45:9) who has ultimate privilege to do as He wills best!
People have asked how I am praying. Jesus taught us is to pray “Thy will be done.” And, honestly, I do not know what God’s will is. As I reflected on this, I wondered how much of our prayer for healing is mixed with a “natural” desire for self-preservation. Watchman Nee said: “self-pity, self-love, fear of suffering, withdrawal from the cross are manifestations of the self life, whose prime motivation is self-preservation.” In this life-and-death trial, I hear God asking me to surrender even this natural desire to Him. Whether I live or die, then, is not the focus of my prayer, but to seek God’s will, by having no will of my own.
Does this sound passive? Believe me, it is taking a greater faith to put my life in His hands than anything I have ever done. Many Christ-followers say they are willing to pick up their cross and follow Him… until they feel the piercing of the nails in their hands. John describes those who overcame by the blood of the Lamb as those who “did not love their life even when faced with death” (Rev. 12:11).
I want to be like David who said, I don't concern myself with matters too great or too awesome for me. Instead, I have calmed and quieted myself, like a weaned child who no longer cries for its mother's milk. Yes, like a weaned child is my soul within me (Ps 131:1-2).
Greg,
ReplyDeleteBy default, you are declaring that it IS God's will to heal you because you are availing yourself to a God-appointed servant, aka., the surgeon. Obviously, since God is unlimited in His resources, there are therefore many different ways to receive God's provision for extending our life here on earth. Physicians are merely one of His ways; changing diet and starting an exercise regimen is another; individuals who have one of the "gifts of healings" (one of the gifts of the Holy Spirit in 1 Corinthians 12) is another; a change of attitude is yet another, etc.
God's object seems to be how we respond during the crisis of our health--do we retain our full confidence in God's character as "good?"
Just some thoughts...
I think of a song of years ago by the Christian band "Petra." One of the lines goes like this: "Sometimes a shadow, dark and cold, hangs like a mist across the road. But be encouraged by the sight; where there's a shadow there's a Light!"
Only a Christian can have this understanding.
Stan