Marriage counselor for 25 years, and a student (undergraduate) of my own marriage for the same time, I speak with confidence when I say this. In the beginning of marriage, husbands and wives endeavor to conform their partners to meet their expectations! In time, healthy partners recognize the self-centeredness of this ‘goal’, and begin to accept one another, making adjustments as necessary.
This selfish desire to conform others to “fit” us is not limited to marriage. Parents do this with their children as well, struggling to fashion them into the persons they want them to be.
Even worse, we conform God to fit our ideals of Him. For example, if we are unable to reconcile parts of God's character, i.e., His wrath with His love, we underplay the former and overstate the latter. And if challenged with our inconsistencies, we say “Well, that’s not the kind of God I believe in,” in effect making God fit our own image.
Do you believe it is possible to really know God? A.W. Tozer says “we are made in God’s image, [and] have within us the capacity to know Him.” That's not to say it's easy! Plumbing the depths of God’s Person is not for the faint of heart! God is NOT like us—“You thought I was like you” (Ps. 50:21) but “My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor your ways My ways" (Isa. 55:8).
Through relationships God teaches us about differences, called "otherness." Just as our spouses are "other" than us, God is “Other” than us. But, thankfully, He promises He will be known (John 14:21). A great freedom will be ours when we explore the “Otherness” of God (as well as our spouses) and stop trying to make Him, and them, fit our image!
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