“Failure is not an Option”

By now everyone knows that cyclist Lance Armstrong, 7-time winner of the Tour de France, has been stripped of his titles and banned from the sport for using steroids. He is the world’s most famous cheater. The adage “It’s not whether you win or lose, but how you play the game that matters” has been replaced by Vince Lombardi’s “Winning is the only thing that matters.”

Recent research shows that over 75% of college students admit cheating in high school, up from 20% in 1950. Why the increase? Is it possible we have taught them that “failure is not an option.” Several years ago, I had a surge of high school seniors coming in to my counseling office—the presenting problem was anxiety, and the common theme was fear of failure.

Do you know that failure is built into God’s plan of redemption? The Bible is replete with leaders who failed and recovered—Abraham, Jacob, Moses, David, Peter. Cheating may be as old as Adam, but in 2012, it seems epidemic. People don't cheat just to win; they cheat to avoid failure. And without knowing God's grace, failure is not an option. But for those of us who have failed and recovered (many times!), we know the secret of success is found in God's unconditional love and acceptance.

Can I Ever Forgive Myself?

I've just finsihed a book by Tim Keller, called “The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness.” Not “self-forgiveness,” but “self-forgetfulness.” In a nutshell, self-forgetfulness means “not thinking ‘more of myself’ or thinking ‘less of myself’, but thinking of myself less.” And that brings freedom from painful self-consciousness, criticism, comparison and competition.

There is a popular, psychologically-oriented, teaching these days that says people have to forgive themselves. Does the Bible say we should forgive ourselves? Not directly. But if forgiving ourselves means accepting God’s forgiveness, then yes. Continuing to harbor feelings of guilt or shame for things we’ve done in the past after we’ve asked God to forgive us is an indication we haven’t really accepted His forgiveness.

When we confess our sins HE is faithful and just to forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness (1 Jn 1:9). HE has power to forgive—we don’t. If we’ve confessed our sin, the issue of forgiveness is settled.  What's more, our sin is forgotten. All that remains is moving on. If I had to forgive myself for all the failures in my life, I’m afraid I would find myself unforgiveable. Thank God, forgiveness is not based on feelings—His or mine!

Are You IN?

In high school everyone wanted to be in the ‘in’ crowd, wear ‘in’ clothes, and be seen at the ‘in’ places. Though I did have one friend who was ‘in’, I was definitely ‘out’—condemned by those on the ‘inside.’ In hindsight, I realize this was why I eventually became a ‘drop-out’ in the 60’s. (Of course at the time, we didn’t realize we were just creating a new ‘in’ group).

Why was it so important to be IN? Because to be ‘out’ was to be rejected. To anyone who has ever felt rejected, the words of Paul are music to our ears: “There is therefore now no condemnation [rejection] for those who are IN Christ Jesus” (Ro. 8:1). Christ makes those who are IN Him acceptable to our Father. “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has ... made us accepted IN the Beloved” (Eph 1:6).

If this is true, why do so many believers still care so much about ‘fitting in?’ Paul warned the believers not to be conformed (trying to be IN) to this world (Ro. 12:2). But many are trying to be in because they are controlled by the old feeling of rejection. Ask the Lord to examine your heart and reveal your conforming behaviors: things that show you do not yet fully believe you are accepted IN Christ.