The Healthiness of Forgetting

For years, I've kept a daily journal. I love looking back to recall what God was teaching me through certain events. But, frankly, some things need to be forgotten! Therapists and pastors often help people forget that which might keep them from sound mental/spiritual health. Paul said it was the “one thing” he did to ensure his progress: “forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead” (Phil. 3:14).

forgetting (like forgiveness) is a process that begins with a choice. Jesus said, “Anyone who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is not fit for the Kingdom of God” (Luke 9:62).  Looking back signifies recalling the past, whether with happiness or regret, in a way that hinders our commitment and/or progress.

Of course forgetting is not so easy. Our brains are hard-wired with memories—we cannot erase them like a data file. But what we can do is “not call to mind—choosing to not think about— former things” (Is. 43:18). I am so grateful we have a God who forgets: “I will remember their sins no more” (Is. 43:25).  

Happy are those who ‘forgive.’ Happier still are those who ‘forget.’

Am I Learning Impaired?

Sometimes I think I must have a spiritual learning disability—that I am unable to receive, process, and store truth. This happens more often than I’d like to admit. This last February, when I first spoke of my cancer, I confessed my greatest fear was not learning all that God wanted to teach me through this trial: a great loss if divine discipline did not result in righteous revelation. 

My inability to remember and respond has been evidenced through my impatience and petulance instead of faith and firmness.  I asked myself, “Am I learning impaired”?  Well, after a little biblical study, I’ve concluded that spiritual learning disabilities are universal. God continually told the Hebrews not to forget what they had learned (Deut. 4:9, 23; 6:12; 8:11). Solomon wrote, “My son, do not forget my teaching” (Prov. 3:2). Paul told Timothy to remind the believers of the things they had learned (2 Tim 2:14). Peter told his readers he would always be ready to remind them of the things they had learned (1 Pet 1:12).

Did they all have learning disabilities? No, they were just people just like us whose capacity for forgetting was greater than for remembering. No wonder Paul tells Timothy, “continue in the things you have learned” (2 Tim. 3:14).  Let us pray for each other that we won't forget to remember what we've learned.

Can I Ever Forgive Myself?

I've just finsihed a book by Tim Keller, called “The Freedom of Self-Forgetfulness.” Not “self-forgiveness,” but “self-forgetfulness.” In a nutshell, self-forgetfulness means “not thinking ‘more of myself’ or thinking ‘less of myself’, but thinking of myself less.” And that brings freedom from painful self-consciousness, criticism, comparison and competition.

There is a popular, psychologically-oriented, teaching these days that says people have to forgive themselves. Does the Bible say we should forgive ourselves? Not directly. But if forgiving ourselves means accepting God’s forgiveness, then yes. Continuing to harbor feelings of guilt or shame for things we’ve done in the past after we’ve asked God to forgive us is an indication we haven’t really accepted His forgiveness.

When we confess our sins HE is faithful and just to forgive our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness (1 Jn 1:9). HE has power to forgive—we don’t. If we’ve confessed our sin, the issue of forgiveness is settled.  What's more, our sin is forgotten. All that remains is moving on. If I had to forgive myself for all the failures in my life, I’m afraid I would find myself unforgiveable. Thank God, forgiveness is not based on feelings—His or mine!

Lord, Help Me Forget the Things I shouldn’t Remember

As Altha and I advance into our 60’s we seem to be commenting more frequently on what-we-think-is our increasing forgetfulness—the telltale signs of ‘aging.’ But then I remember how forgetful our children were as teen-agers and even as young adults.

But as feeble as our minds (at any age) may be, it seems all of us (at every age)have an amazing ability to remember things we would be better off forgetting—like, all the hurts, disappointments, betrayals, and grievances of our past. Isn’t it remarkable! You can forget where you parked your car at the mall 30 minutes ago, but when it comes to perceived injury, slight, or infraction, your memory never fails you?

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony (Col. 3:12-14).