Your Best Life is yet to Come!

Some years ago, I penned a post about the perilous position of Joel Osteen in his book “Your Best Life Now”—so focused on earthly attainments as to negate eternal values. Unfortunately, many lean toward a ‘prosperity’ mindset which can diminish the value of a righteous response to a rough road.

Many people presume that Romans 8:28, “all things work together for good…” is our right to a ‘good’ ride right now: good job, good spouse, good house, good health and good long life (tell that to the persecuted Christians in China). Tim Keller, of NYC’s Redeemer Church, translates ‘good’ into the phrase, “Your best life is yet to come,” focusing us on eternal 'good.'

Since we are true travelers on the highway to Heaven, you can count on collisions with earth-bound trekkers claiming to be following Jesus in this life, but are really “lovers of self… following their own desires…” Paul says they are “headed for destruction… only thinking about life on earth.” (2 Tim 3:2; 2 Peter 3:3; Phil. 3:19, edited). In the language of my 'highway' analogy, it seems like Paul is telling us to avoid sharing the road with them, “stay away from people like that.” (2 Tim. 3:5) Like what? - people going the wrong-way!

Sometimes there is no answer

The horrific tornadoes in Texas and Oklahoma this week are again showing man how helpless he is. Despite modern technology, he has no more control over tornadoes than when Job's 10 children were killed by one! You and I know this is part of a fallen “natural” world (Rom. 8:20), and won’t end until Jesus returns to establish a “new heaven and a new earth” (Rev 21:1). But try to explain that to a non-believing world looking for answers. When Job thought God owed him an explanation, God showed up in a His own tornado, with a series of questions that stopped Job in his tracks. 

Maybe that is why I liked how Dr. Albert Mohler answered the secular media when they asked him if “natural” disasters were God's judgments.  Mohler simply asked: “Why did no earthquake shake Nazi Germany? Why did no tsunami swallow up the killing fields of Cambodia? Why did Hurricane Katrina destroy far more evangelical churches than casinos? Why do so many murderous dictators live to old age while many missionaries die young?”  Sometimes there is no answer.

Buying and Selling in a Bullish Stock Market

Despite a flailing economy, the stock market is breaking records.  Economists say many people are benefiting from low Fed rates, the reason for increased investing, buying, and selling, particularly in housing and related industries.  During Obama’s first term, over 1,000 millionaires a day were added to the economy. The ‘new’ rich are buying and selling like no other time in history. 

Has the bullish market created a false sense of well-being?  I recently came across a quote by Arthur Pink, “the greatest self-deception is thinking everthing is OK when it is not.” I think the bullish market is a sign of the times. Before His return, Jesus said it would be like the days of Noah; then adding, “It was the same in the days of Lot. People were eating and drinking, buying and selling, planting and building” (Luke 17).

The days of Noah and Lot have one common feature: people were going about their normal lives as if everything was OK. “When people are saying, ‘Everything is peaceful and secure,’ then disaster will fall on them as suddenly as a pregnant woman's labor pains begin. And there will be no escape” (1 Thess. 5:3).

"Lord, what are you planning to do with me"

Any regular reader of this blog knows there has been a “frequency failure.”  Extraordinary life circumstances over the last 6 months have resulted in an energy consumption that limited my capacity to write and research.  And, looking ahead, I foresee more energy leaks that will reduce my rate of writ.  Despite this, I do have plans: to have a total of 1,000 posts by year's end (today's post is my 926th), and then to index them all by subject.

Woody Allen is credited with saying, “If you want to make God laugh, tell him your plans.” Is it really wrong to makes plans? Evidently not. Solomon, somewhat wiser than Woody Allen, said “we can make our plans, but the LORD determines our steps” (Prov. 16:9). To me, this simply means, “Make your plans; pray your plans, but don’t brand your plans.” Why? 

Solomon says: “There is a path before each person that seems right, but it ends in death… [Hence] the sensible man considers his steps” (Prov. 16:12, 19, NLT).  In other words, no matter how well-intentioned, man-made plans will ‘die on the vine,’ “but the LORD's plans stand firm forever” (Ps. 33:11). Thus, my prayer is, Lord, what are You planning to do with me? And that's no laughing matter.

Losing Control

When I retired from my job with the Federal government—exactly 5 years ago this week—since I would no longer have a boss telling me what to do, I imagined I was gaining control of my life.  But God cares about me too much to allow such a mockery of maturity: growing in Christ always involves giving up autonomy—“Pick up your cross, and follow Me!”

Today as I am thinking about going to my chemo infusion appointment, Jesus’ words to Peter come to mind, “when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and others will dress you and take you where you don't want to go" (John 21:18).  Indeed, this morning I will “stretch out my hand,” and a needle will be thrust into my veins infusing a toxic substance.  I can assure you this “takes me where I don’t want to go.”  While I am aware Jesus’ words to Peter refer to the latter’s death, they most certainly also imply death to one's desire for independence: “follow Me” (20:21).

No one likes to imagine themselves getting ‘old’ and dependent.  But it will surely happen.  And how well we handle that loss of control at 65 depends entirely on how well we handled it at 25, 35, 45, and 55.

Seeing is believing

When I took classes on therapy, I learned that the most basic construct in counseling is called “reframing”—a way to help a client see his/her issues in a new light. Going through “unprecedented” events (as I have in the past half-year) have caused me to see many things in a new light.  I've learned that seeing is believing! 

Peter, James, and John probably knew Jesus better than any of the Disciples.  But when they saw Jesus transfigured, and heard God saying, “This is my own dear Son, with whom I am well pleased,” they saw Him (literally) in a new light.  Likewise, after Jesus death, when “John saw [the empty tomb], he believed” (John 20:8).  Of course Thomas didn’t believe until He saw Jesus’ nail-pierced hands (20:28).  And at Paul's conversion on the road to Damascus, Jesus called him to “open the eyes [of the Gentiles] so that they might turn from darkness to light” (Acts 26:18)? 

As I’ve pondered my own ‘revelations’ over the past few months, it has become clear to me God loves us too much to let us walk around hopelessly blind to His reality.  Thus, Paul prayed for us “that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened—see things in a new light—in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you…” (Eph. 1:8).  What do you see?  What do you believe?

My Bucket is Full

The term “bucket list” was popularized after the so-titled 2007 American movie about two terminally ill men on a road trip with a wish list of things to do before they “kicked the bucket.” (I think the term is an appropriate symbol for the emptiness of most people's lives!)    

On my personal profile page on this Dying to Live Blog, there is a place to ask a provocative question. Mine is: “If you knew this was your last day on earth, would you have to change your plans?”  Did I know how relevant that question would be!
 

As a person living on life's threshold (aren't we all!), do I have a bucket list?  Only this: to finish my race well and remain faithful. (2 Tim. 4:7).  Morose thoughts on this, my 65^th birthday?  I don’t think so.  What better day to reflect on God’s protection in a year of unforeseen events and to contemplate His promises as I look toward an unpredictable future. What better time than this to declare, I am well content, and my ‘bucket’ is full.

Is there life after death?

In 2005, after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, Steve Jobs gave a commencement speech at Stanford University in which he said: “No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don't want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it.” And there implied is the fear-filled question of unbelievers: is there life after death?

But, having come face-to-face with the possibility of my own sooner-than-later departure (also due to pancreatic cancer), I have pondered how many who call themselves ‘born-again’ believers are afraid of death.  I know that you who read this blog called “Dying to Live” share my strong conviction that there is no life on earth for us without our participation in Christ’s death and resurrection.  We only live because He died.  We only live when we die—to the realm of sin and self. Paul states it clearly, “we have died to this life, and our real life is hidden with Christ in God” (Col 3:3).

But I am afraid Steve Jobs was right. Even as people who want to go to heaven are afraid to die to get there, so too it is for Christians who have not understood they are already crucified with Christ, and can say I no longer live [I am dead to this world], but Christ lives in me (Gal 2:20). Is there life after death? You better believe it! And aren't you just dying to get it!

“Good Grief!”

Every “Peanuts” comic strip fan knows of Charlie Brown's signature exclamation: “good grief.” While the term is used humorously to exaggerate the severity of a situation, it begs the question: is there any such thing as ‘good’ grief.  Isn't grief about loss? What’s good about that?!

Though Peter said Christ’s followers would be “grieved by various trials,” he also said, “In this you greatly rejoice with joy unspeakable” (1 Peter 1:6). Then Peter goes on to explain that this joy comes from knowing that grief tests us to prove that our faith is genuine.  Moreover, it assures the salvation of our souls and promises to bring praise, glory, and honor to Jesus on the day when He is revealed to the whole world. Wow! Good Grief!

Spinning in Circles

Four years ago in London, a 22-year old man who was attempting to set the Guinness world record for spinning in circles suddenly collapsed and died.  The idiom “spinning in circles” or “going around in circles” means to keep going over the same ground without getting anywhere.  In other words, no progress, no life.

Of course there is a personal parallel here.  When life events seem beyond our control, and we are not getting anywhere, we have two choices.  We can surrender to God’s sovereignty: “my life and times are in your hands”—(Ps. 31:5).  Or we can attempt in our own effort to make things happen the way we want.  But when we try to take control, we may find, in the end, we are getting nowhere. 

So what do we do when we get this feeling that we are spinning in circles?  Stop moving!  Slow down!  Wait!  Waiting on God is the remedy for that awful feeling.  He promises to lead us in a straight path (Prov. 3:6, Jer. 31:9). Or, in other words, whenever you get that feeling you are spinning in circles, you should get off your feet and get on your knees.

Mayday! Mayday! Mayday!

Today is known as “May Day” or “International Workers’ Day” in 80 countries around the world. The day keeps alive the interests of the working class, the need to promote better working conditions from employers and governments. Last year on May 1, tens of thousands of members of Occupy Wall Street and labor unions marched in the streets around the US to commemorate May Day, to protest the dismal state of the economy, and specifically the growing divide between the rich and the poor. Since then, has anything changed? (a rhetorical  question!)

Paradoxically, the term “Mayday” is an emergency procedure word used internationally as a distress signal in voice radio communications. Significantly, it derives from the French venez m'aider, meaning "come help me."

It seems to many discerning believers that the dismal state of the economy is a metaphor for the dull moral state in America. Even the Church is in peril of falling in to the vortex of this moral shock wave. Perhaps today is a day we should all be crying out to God “Mayday! Mayday! Mayday!” “Help us, LORD our God; save us according to your unfailing love” (Ps. 109:26)

Straight Shooters

Someone you can count on to tell you the truth is a “straight shooter.” In our politically correct climate, it is getting increasingly harder to find a person who will give it to you straight.

In the book of Isaiah, the prophet used an interesting word to describe God. It is a seldom-used word translated “teacher” that derives from the Hebrew word “archer/shooter” (Is. 30:20).

During a time of national rebellion, as God quietly waited for them to return, the prophet says He withdrew Himself, i.e., not speaking. But Isaiah promised them if they would return, He would be like a teacher [a shooter] who would no longer hold back, but would tell them the truth: “This is the way; walk in it, whenever you turn to the right or to the left.” In other words, whenever they got off the straight and narrow, He would tell them straight out what they needed to hear.

Does it not seem to you that as our mainline American denominations progressively line up with political correctness, there is going to be a greater need for straight shooters?

Infused with Steroids

I promise you (I think) that this will be the last ‘chemo’ comparison I make, but it’s too good to pass up. My cancer-killing chemo treatments are called ‘infusions’ because they are administered intravenously. After my first infusion 2 weeks ago, I had flu-like symptoms for 2 days. My friend Janet told me that as she was praying for me to have a better post-infusion experience, the Lord brought to her mind the words “He restores my soul” (Ps. 23:2)—but not in English; in Spanish, “Me infunde nuevas fuerzas,” which translates “He infuses me with new strength.”

What Janet did not know is that before getting my 2nd chemo infusion, the oncologist gave me a steroid infusion to diminish my symptoms. So Janet’s prayer, “infuse Greg with new strength,” was answered in a tangible way. Making this spiritual event even more interesting is the detail that the English word “steroid” derives from the Greek “sterizo”—meaning “strength.” In answer to Janet’s prayer, I was strengthened both physically and spiritually.

At those moments we are feeling most weak and vulnerable, we tend to reach out to God for new strength! But at a time in Israel’s history when they were vulnerable, they looked to Egypt’s armies for strength rather than God.  So, He patiently reminded them, “In returning [to Me] and resting [in Me], you shall be saved; in quietness and trust [in Me] is your strength” (Is. 30:15). As thankful as I am for man-made steroids, I am thankful for this tangible reminder of His strength. Thus, I am well content with weakness...for when I am weak, I am strong (2 Cor 12:10).

Search and Destroy

After we have received Christ into our hearts and have been forgiven of all sin, there yet remains a process of “putting aside all that remains of wickedness” (James 1:21). For my entire adult life, or so it seems, I have been engaged in getting rid of these ‘remains.’

Having just finished my second week of chemo-therapy—the purpose of which is to annihilate any cancer cells remaining after the surgical removal of my pancreatic tumor—the spiritual analogy is shouting at me. At salvation the sin-centered heart is removed. But afterward, the Holy Spirit uses the chemically-dynamic Word to search and destroy all that remains of the former self.

And even as my chemo therapy is voluntary, so is its spiritual counterpart of “putting aside [putting to death] all that remains of the sinful, earthly things [still] lurking within us” (Col. 3:5). But thank God that while chemo offers no guarantee of success, He does: “After you have suffered a little while, He will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast” (1 Peter 5:10).

The Success of Suffering

In Jesus' day, the view that suffering resulted from moral failure was widely held. When a blind man was brought in front of Jesus for healing, the Disciples asked, “Whose sin had caused this young man’s blindness—his or his parents?” Jesus clarified it was neither, but only that the works of God should be revealed in him. In other words, something about suffering was divine.

Clearly the Bible teaches that suffering is a virtue. Jesus told His disciples that in the world they would face suffering, and overcome it just as He had (Jn.16:33). Paul declared that anyone desiring to live godly in Christ Jesus would suffer persecution (2 Tim.3:12). And James proclaimed that suffering was an opportunity for great joy.  Clearly, the apostles taught no ‘success’ in the kingdom of God could be expected without traversing the portal of suffering (Acts 14:22).

This is counter-intuitive in 21st century American where we refuse to accept suffering as the norm, let alone as a sign of God’s blessing (Matt. 5:4; 12). But the Scriptures are unambiguous: success without suffering is ‘unbiblical.’ 20th Century NYC pastor Dr. Edward Johnson once said, “Suffering and success go together. If you are succeeding without suffering, it is because others before you have suffered; if you are suffering without succeeding, it is that others after you may succeed.”

Going in Circles and/or Going South

For a year and a half before Altha and I moved to Arizona, I prayed and listened for the Lord's assurances. What followed were many confirmations. And when I was invited to mentor students at Phoenix Seminary, with the possibility to teach, I saw God at work.  Over the next months, one obstacle after another was removed and the path ahead became clear and straight.

But within days after moving to Arizona, my diagnosis of pancreatic cancer turned those plans on their head—‘everything started going south’ (an idiom I’ve spoken of before in this blog). After my ‘Whipple’ surgery, the Lord led us back to California where family (our daughter) and friends could support us thru the chemo/radiation therapies that lie ahead.

Honestly, I can tell you it seemed regressive to me—I was going in circles. But nothing in God’s methods is regressive. But progressive. And though it seemed my life was headed ‘south,’ God assured me it was not. Then this morning the Spirit led me to Deuteronomy, where God speaks to Moses, “You have circled this mountain long enough; now turn North” (2:2-3).

Are you presently feeling like your life is going in circles? Even worse, are you feeling like your life is “going south?” It may look that way by the natural eye. But by faith, you can be sure it is going in a straight line—straight into God’s blessed purposes for you. Before long, I know you will hear Him say, “Things have been going south long enough. But soon they will be turning north!”

Fellow Sufferers

Bombs exploded yesterday at the Boston Marathon finish line, killing 3 and injuring more than 140. Many people are suffering today. Only four months ago, Americans were shocked by the tragedy at Sandy Hook. When such tragedies happen, all America suffers—as persons united to one another by common citizenship.

By now of course everyone knows that Rick Warren’s 27-year old son committed suicide a week ago Friday. He had struggled for years with terrible depression. When I heard the news, I wept. He was not just Rick Warrens’ son. As a member of the body of Christ, he was the son of all of us. “When one part suffers, all the parts suffer with it” (1 Cor. 12:26).

To suffer is to feel pain or distress. It can be physical or emotional. Even as it is the one thing that unites all humanity, so it unites all Christians. As I have suffered through an operation, and now chemotherapy, so many of you have asked how you can help. I know it is because you feel my pain and the pain of my family. We are connected to one another. And in some way, which we cannot fully comprehend, by doing so, we are connecting with the sufferings of Christ who left His heavenly abode to live in a world of suffering (sickness and death and the pain of rejection). It is good that we join in the sufferings of others that we might be like the One Who suffered with and for us so that one day we shall never suffer again.

Fools for Christ

Coming the day after what-we-call “April Fool’s Day” here in the US, I was reminded of this quote by Jim Elliot: “He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain that which he cannot lose.”

Jim Elliot was a missionary martyred by the Auca Indians of Ecuador. His quote is a perpetual reminder of the cost (and privilege) of discipleship. But his quote also reminds us that any Bible-believing, fundamental believer will be considered foolish by the world. “We are fools for Christ's sake… we are weak… we are despised (1 Cor. 4:10)… for the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God… (1 Cor. 1:18).

I am afraid that the further our culture (and even mainline denominations) declines into amorality and universalism, the more foolish Bible-believing Christians will appear. It is time for us to ask ourselves, 'are we willing to be fools for Christ?'

Jumping for Joy

You will take note from my post yesterday that at this time of year I feel compelled to warn us against the trivialization and commercialization of Easter. I believe the shallow “happiness” sentiment expressed by way of bunnies and colored eggs is nothing less than the spirit of antichrist.

That being said, however, Christ’s resurrection is the happiest of all historical events, and should fill us with so much joy we cannot contain it.

In the Greek language there is a word for unrestrained joy. In Jude 24, 1 Peter 4:13 and Matthew 5:12, the Greek word is translated “exceeding joy,” denoting excessive joy and delight. It is derived from the word “to leap.” Somewhat humorously, we have an English equivalent expression: “jumping for joy.” I should point out that this “leaping” word for joy is not the word normally used. It seems the New Testament writers wanted a word that could express eternal joy irrespective of circumstances: “to the degree that you share the sufferings of Christ, keep on rejoicing, so that also at the revelation of His glory you may rejoice with exceeding joy (1 Pe 4:13).

No matter how hapless yours, or my, circumstances may be at this moment, let's determine not to  let it keep us from having a “jumping for joy” Easter Sunday on the inside!

Should we say "Happy Easter"?

I struggled to find a message to convey at this special time of year. An event I read about in USA Today gave rise to this post. Last Friday the UN declared the first ever International Day of Happiness. Isn’t that too coincidental that within a week of the commemoration of the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ (the most sober time of our year) the UN focuses on the pursuit of happiness?

I’ve always thought it was rather odd wishing someone a “happy” Easter. It appears an unsuitable word to use for such a holy occasion. The “pursuit of happiness” is quite contrary to the message of Easter—happiness being defined by our culture in a self-oriented way: I am happy when things go well for me.

Do you know that the promise of happiness was Satan’s lie? “Eat the fruit; and you will live happily ever after.” (People are still eating the fruit of self-attained fulfillment.) There is a clear example of this in the Gospels. When Jesus gave the 5,000 a free lunch, they were happy. But shortly thereafter, when Jesus explained that His feeding had been an illustration of the greater truth, “you shall not live by bread alone but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God…and unless you eat my flesh and drink my blood, you have no life,” many stopped following Him.

Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying God doesn’t want us to be happy; or that we should not wish people well on Easter. I’m saying we must be careful not to trivialize this Holy Day commemorating Christ’s death and resurrection with the world’s idea of happiness. The hard truth is Christ didn’t die to make us happy. In fact, He promised that if we follow Him, we will experience persecution and suffering. And in this we would find ‘happiness’ (blessedness)—not exactly in sync with the world’s notion of bliss. “Happy are the people whose God is the Lord!” (Ps 144:15). So, now that we've defined biblical happiness, dare I say "Happy Easter"?

What does the Holy See?

As I read articles about the new Pope, Francis, I saw the term “Holy See” in reference to him. Unfamiliar with the term, I found it means ‘government,’ as the See of Rome is the central government of the Roman Catholic Church, and he, the Pope, the ruler of that government. Immediately I thought of Isaiah’s words “and the government shall rest on His shoulders”—Jesus’ shoulders, not the Pope’s—(Is. 9:6).

But beyond the formal, legitimate meaning of the term “Holy See”, I couldn’t help but see the play on words—thus, the title of my post “What does the Holy See?” And I don’t mean Pope Francis. I mean ‘you and me’—followers of Jesus. Well, I hope we see God. And, I hope we see what God sees. And, I hope we can see what God is doing. But, one thing I am absolutely certain of: you and I can see as much as, if not more than, a Pope!

This truth is so important to us, especially in these troubled times, when it is so hard to see anything good coming out of wordwide political, social, and moral chaos.  But of course chaos and confusion can also be very personal!  During my time of trouble, the Holy Spirit reminds me of Jesus' promise: “Blessed are the pure in heart [the holy ones] for they shall see God” (Matt. 5:8).  “What does the holy see?” He sees the unseen. “Didn't I tell you that if you had faith, you would see the glory of God?” (John 11:40).

The Battle of a Lifetime

You probably think this is creepy, but a few years ago I started reading obituaries. Having grown up in the area I still live in, I have a perhaps morbid curiosity in knowing if any of my former classmates have preceded me in passing. I’ve noticed that a word commonly used in the obits is the word “battle,” e.g., he/she passed after a 2-year battle with cancer. Occasionally, an obit will even say that someone passed away after a “lifelong battle” with [some malady].

This year I find myself thus engaged. But my physical battle pales by comparison to another battle silently taking place within me. I am engaged in a battle with unbelief—taking place in my mind; the enemy’s attempts to make me doubt God’s goodness, loving-kindness, and His right of sovereignty. Paul uses battlefield language: “taking all thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ” (2 Cor. 10:5).

After years of action on the frontlines, you’d think I should be well-prepared. But I am finding that while past revelations of truth are enabling me to “stand firm,” I have to begin each day in the holy discipline of putting on my armor (Eph. 6:13-15). This is  where past-learned truths become today's  reality. Andrew Murray said it well: “Between the faith that accepts a promise and the experience that fully receives the promise lie years of discipline and training.” Surely this is what we would call the battle of a lifetime.

Is it OK to ask 'why'?

When people encounter an especially difficult and unexpected trial—loss of a job, a relationship, of good health—the “why” question will surface. But it is important to note there are two “why” questions. The first is “Why me, Lord?” This “why” is born out of self-preservation and self-pity. The second is just “Why Lord?” This one is born out of the faithful heart of a truth-seeker, submitted to God, even, and perhaps especially, when things don't make sense.

When I found out I had pancreatic cancer, I did ask the second ‘why’ question. Fifty-five years of walking with the Lord has taught me who is in charge, if nothing else! And, if I really believe “it is no longer I who live but Christ lives in me” (Gal. 2:20) and that “I am NOT my own, but have been bought with a price” (1 Cor. 6:19-20), there can be no “Why me?” God’s calling on my life gives Him full privilege to do with me as He chooses. Am I actually saying that God chose me for this affliction? Yes.

As a child, my very advanced brain was out of sync with my physical development; in other words, I was uncoordinated! Thus, I experienced the rejection and humiliation of one always chosen last (or not at all!) when sides were drawn for the baseball, football, basketball teams. But now, many years later, I feel like I have been chosen to be on God’s ‘major league’ team! Perhaps I am sensing a little of what Paul must have felt when he said, “I exult in my afflictions,” rejoicing that God saw fit to advance the kingdom through his suffering. I may not have an absolute answer to my “Why Lord,” but I am confident it is part of God’s ultimate design to make me a “vessel for honor, sanctified, useful to the Master, prepared for every good work” (2 Tim. 2:21).

Hard-pressed

Today marks the fourth week since my surgery for pancreatic cancer. The majority of the cancer—a tumor—was removed, along with parts of my pancreas, stomach, bile duct, and duodenum—not to mention removal of the gall bladder. It is one of the most invasive surgeries. And the post-operation recovery for this surgery requires absolute confinement. And in this word—confinement—there was/is a great spiritual application.

When Paul referred to his various afflictions as a servant for Christ, he said, “We are hard-pressed, but we are not crushed” (2 Cor. 4:8)—both words connoting confinement, narrowness, or, as one might say, “I’m in a tight spot.” For almost two weeks, I was confined by tubes, needles, and drainage pipes. But, thankfully, my confinement was temporary. And not only was it temporary, I knew it was a portal through which I would find greater freedom.

I am still somewhat confined—by a low energy level, by ongoing medications and treatments that will limit me for an extended period. But the words of the Psalmist have never been more real to me. “From my distress [Hebrew word means a ‘tight or narrow space’] I called upon the LORD, and He answered me, and set me in a large place” (Ps. 118:5).

The Other Side

On the day when Jesus told the Disciples to get into the boat, saying "Let us go over to the other side of the lake,” they launched out, most probably expecting clear sailing. But while Jesus slept, they were hit by a severe storm that threatened their lives. When they awakened Jesus, after calming the storm, He simply said, “Where is your faith?” as if to say “Didn’t I tell you we were going to the other side?” (Luke 8:22-24) In the middle of their trial, they became so focused on the present difficulty they forgot they were on a mission to the other side.

Likewise, you and I can be so focused on current conditions, we forget God has promised better things for us (Heb. 6:9). Paul says our present troubles are momentary and light compared to what is on the other side—something beyond comparison (2 Cor. 4:17).

Of course the problem for me and you is that when we are going through a time of suffering, we are often perplexed, and we do not know what is on the other side. When I lay in the hospital for 12 days last month after my surgery, I was able to look out the large window of my 9th floor room at the Phoenix skyline.  While I was  feeling so confined by all my tubes and needles, I just knew God was reminding me that just on the other side of my present suffering was a wide open realm of opportunity. 

"So don't look at the troubles you can see now; rather, fix your gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things you see now will soon be gone, but the things you cannot see will last forever" (2 Cor. 4:18). 

What are you most afraid of?

Nobody has asked me this question. But I have.  As I face a 6-hour operation to cut out a cancerous tumor and rearrange my entire digestive tract, followed by weeks of painful recovery, I have a certain amount of anxiety, but this is not what I fear most.

The doctors have said that if I had not had such severe diarrhea and weight loss, I would not have known I was hosting a tumor. Pancreatic tumors go unnoticed, wreaking destruction, because they are silent and have few symptoms. Thank God, my symptoms revealed this terrible thing in me.

Likewise, God uses our hard circumstance to reveal the worst in us—they bring out anxiety, impatience, a critical spirit, to name a few. My hope is that my ugly self-life will be revealed and I will cooperate with the Spirit’s work of extraction and annihilation! Pray that even as the surgeon removes the cancer, I will allow the Great Surgeon to circumcise my heart. Pray that this circumstance which brings out the worst in me will not be wasted. That is my greatest fear.

“Let me know myself, Lord. And then I will know you” (St. Augustine).

The Surgeon's Knife has Two Sides

This week my oncologist told me that of all persons with pancreatic cancer, only 15% are diagnosed while still in stage one (localized). I am, by God’s grace, a member of that modest faction. After pancreatic cancer has begun to spread, and surely after it has metastasized, surgery is ineffective. Only in the early stage is it most likely the tumor and its roots can be eliminated. But even then pancreatic cancers can hide and return. Cancer survivors must be vigilant to guard against that possibility. Thus, it is probable I will undergo months of post-surgery chemotherapy.

Of course the spiritual analogy shouts at us. Every one of us is born with a root of sin (called flesh), which is incapable of doing anything but growing and producing sin (tumors). And while the Cross, like the surgeon’s knife, has removed the tumor (Rom. 6:6, 11), the surrounding tissues of our heart still contain that nasty self-serving, self-loving, self-protecting thing we call flesh. (We are all too aware of its unwelcomed influence.) But, thank God, there are two sides to the surgeon’s knife (the Cross): one deals with the power of sin (eliminating the tumor); the other deals with ongoing presence of sin (like hidden cancer cells, waiting to return).

“Unless the knife is applied to the ‘flesh,’ it will always be ground for the enemy to attack, so as to weaken us in the conflict. The ‘flesh’ must be kept under the knife of the Cross… Our prayer must be: ‘Lord, apply the knife of the cross to every bit of the old life in me, where you can see it—down deep in the secret places I do not know.” (Jessie Penn Lewis, “The Conquest of Canaan”)

Is it Possible to have No Will of Your Own?

As the surgeon spoke to me, I observed his hands, realizing my life would be in them. But of course the Spirit immediately corrected me—No, my life would be in God’s hands. Putting my life in even the best surgeon's hands would be chancy. In God’s hands there is no such risk. Isaiah says God is like a potter (45:9) who has ultimate privilege to do as He wills best!

People have asked how I am praying. Jesus taught us is to pray “Thy will be done.” And, honestly, I do not know what God’s will is. As I reflected on this, I wondered how much of our prayer for healing is mixed with a “natural” desire for self-preservation. Watchman Nee said: “self-pity, self-love, fear of suffering, withdrawal from the cross are manifestations of the self life, whose prime motivation is self-preservation.”  In this life-and-death trial, I hear God asking me to surrender even this natural desire to Him. Whether I live or die, then, is not the focus of my prayer, but to seek God’s will, by having no will of my own.

Does this sound passive? Believe me, it is taking a greater faith to put my life in His hands than anything I have ever done. Many Christ-followers say they are willing to pick up their cross and follow Him… until they feel the piercing of the nails in their hands. John describes those who overcame by the blood of the Lamb as those who “did not love their life even when faced with death” (Rev. 12:11).

I want to be like David who said, I don't concern myself with matters too great or too awesome for me. Instead, I have calmed and quieted myself, like a weaned child who no longer cries for its mother's milk. Yes, like a weaned child is my soul within me (Ps 131:1-2).

Words to Live By

“It is small; it is localized; we caught it early” are the words you want to hear from the surgeon who will be removing your tumor. (Praise God, we heard those words yesterday!) “We are praying for you; we love you; you have made a difference in our lives” are the words you want to hear from your friends when in crisis. With each note, each promise to pray, and each testimony to God’s faithfulness, I hear the Lord’s voice. “How delightful is a timely word” (Prov. 15:23).

But as comforting as those words are, it is THE WORD that anchor my soul in this time of trial—the Word of hope and promise, and faithfulness (Hebrews 6:19). From centuries past, the Psalmist declares, “… in faithfulness You have afflicted me. O may Your lovingkindness comfort me, according to Your word... may Your compassion come to me that I may live, For Your law is my delight” (Psalm 119:6-77).

In perplexing circumstances, Paul’s timely and timeless words come to mind: “Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works… and encouraging one another, especially now that the day of His return is drawing near” (Hebrews 10:24-25). These are words to live by.

How Much does a Tumor Weigh?

Every year about this time, it seems I write, metaphorically, about losing that Christmas weight gain. This year, personally, I have no such concern. Shortly into the Holiday season, I started being sick and losing weight. Since Altha and I were in the middle of selling our California home and moving to Arizona, I decided to put off seeing a doctor until after the move. Accordingly, I found a new internist in Arizona who gave me lots of tests. By that time, I had lost about 15 pounds. Within days, I learned that I had a tumor in my pancreas. Long story short, I have pancreatic cancer. And since that first doctor appointment, I’ve lost another 10 pounds.

But beyond telling you, my friends, of this present affliction, and requesting your petitions on our family’s behalf, I do have a spiritual analogy (does that surprise anyone?).

In the physical world, losing all our weight will result in death. Even so, in God’s economy, losing “all things” results in the loss of our self.  But in doing so, we gain Christ. When Paul was afflicted and perplexed, he was never crushed or driven driven to despair—having learned this: the greater the weight of affliction, the greater the weight of glory (2 Cor. 4:8, 17).

As I begin this uncertain health journey, I have no doubt there will be many circumstances that will bring me face to face with this all important question, “What must I lose to gain Christ?” And, am I really, as I have said so many times in this blog, “dying to live the abundant life?” I am sure I will have much to share, as I am able, in future posts.  God bless you all in this year of new things.